A Tale of Two, If Not Sometimes Three, Mascaras

While MKHo may not be a beauty blogger, I am a little bit of one myself. Therefore, please enjoy a completely overlong post about one of my all-time favorite beauty products, mascara! Wee!

The other day, I was celebrating the fact that it was like 7p.m. on a Tuesday or something equally as irrelevant, and I impulsively decided I REALLY DESERVED to buy myself something. (Un-)fortunately I work about 30 seconds from a Sephora.

Due to the fact that, like a magpie, I am attracted to any and all forms of shiny packaging, I swooped down on Urban Decay's Big Fatty Mascara:

($19, Urban Decay)

The wand is basically the size of a fucking toilet bowl brush. Unfortunately, this mascara completely sucks. Nothing showed up at all. I even thought I'd perhaps gotten a faulty, dried-up one. I read a review somewhere that said this mascara is good for "the natural look," and I can only imagine that refers to the look of WEARING NO MASCARA AT ALL. I took advantage of Sephora's open-arms exchange policy -- you can return anything if you're not completely satisfied, which I wasn't. So I did!

In its stead, I got Diorshow:

($24, Dior, Macys)

Ah, the redoubted Diorshow. I was sooooo ready to believe the hype. And the first few tests, it was okay (maybe I just REALLY wanted to believe) -- it definitely lengthens -- but after a few repeated uses, BOOOO Dior! WTF? J'clump!!! Definitely a lot of thick coverage, but zero separation -- it did that thing where it made major clumps at the center of my lashes and then made them look stringy-string-McStrung-out at the tips. Boo for reals.

Oh, and before I forget:
+ Free shipping over $25 at Sephora with promo code B388C2, through April 30.
+ Also, did you know you can return any and all beauty products to CVS if you're not feelin' it? It's true!

Anyway, back to the mascara:
... So, just yesterday, my sister came to visit. Every time we see each other after having not seen each other for months, we first act a'fool about how much we wuv each other. Then, we go into giddy-overdrive mode over mascara. She reminded me how much she loves CoverGirl's Lash Blash (the one that looks like a small orange sex toy), and I was so glad she did:

($6.79, CoverGirl, CVS)

Huge, right? But even more importantly, hugely effective. It's perfect on its own (after a few coats of course -- please stop kidding yourself if you think any one mascara can do it all in just one coat. Do you give your walls JUST ONE coat of paint? No. Unless you're a crappy slacker.) or as a base -- I'd also completely forgotten my own trick -- find a great separating mascara, use it as a base to hit as many individual hairs as possible that the slightly clumpier mascaras can't deal with, and then layer with a bolder mascara over that. Yeah, it's a little extra time, but so is dealing with those crappy lash brushes which never really end up working.

But, you don't have to take my word for it -- some Lash Blash reviews:
+ Makeup Alley
+ Makeup Moxie
+ Makeup Minute
+ The Makeup Girl <---- impressive before and after photo!

I also remembered how much I like MAC's Zoom Lash mascara: ($11, MAC)

A VERY thick (think mud) mascara. For $11, t'aint (hee) bad, but I don't advise it on its own -- instead, use it as a top coat over a solid separating mascara like Maybelline's Define-A-Lash, which is the Bentley Continental GT of separating but the mid-to-late '80s LeBaron of volumizing:



PS: Non-sequitur, yes, and I know I'm like the 23rd person to tell you this today, but Muxtape is awesome.
MU

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Not That I Really Want To Think About Swimwear At This Point, But...

I mean, blah blah blah love your body and get breast exams and shit, but honestly, at this point in the season, I'd probably rather get a couple consecutive Paps than go bathing suit shopping. But that doesn't keep me from Windows shopping (GET IT????). Lame, I know. Onto the suits...

I just found out about swim line Red Carter. I likes what I sees!

(Red Carter, Tropi-Ties.com)

Looks like this one, the "Nouvelle," isn't available until later this month. Worth waiting for, I opine!

(Red Carter, Tropi-Ties.com)

This one -- the "Straight Arrow," is also TK, as we say in "the biz"... the biz of saying things. Can you handle the arrow pointing toward and away from your "choche"? (It rhymes with "encroach," in case you were wondering, and Daddy Likey inspired that one. It kind of almost reminds me of the Most Amazing Bikini Ever Created -- Kara Janx's fear-ocious tigerkini, which is on super-duper sale (in size L) here:

($60, Kara Janx, Azaeleasnyc.com)Good kitty. Down, girl!

($92, Carter Red, Bluefly.com)

Subtle but not boring! By the way, Bluefly just launched a new something-or-other called B*fly -- looks basically just like a site-within-a-site, designed to help you wade through the grammaw stuff and find the cute stuff faster. Okay then.

($115, Shoshanna, Nordstrom)

($66, Shoshanna, Nordstrom)

Shoshanna deserves mad big-boob props -- she designs for a wonderfully realistic range of weird cup-age, fruit-inspired body shapes and other various real-woman issues of disproportion. While the top of this suit does go all the way up to 36DDD, I really couldn't it being right for a busty broad. Nevertheless, this is an adorable pick (love the sunny mid-century diamonds!), and, as previously stated, Shoshanna is great for stylish, smart, supportive suits in an impressive range of sizes. I have two bikinis by her that I love. Get some.

(Top: $38, Bottom: $38, Billabong, Urban Outfitters)

Cute. A mass-market version of that ubi-quit-ous Elie Saab floral dress?

(Elie Saab, RTW 2008)

(Top: $9.99; Bottom: $9.99, Old Navy)
Easy, cute.

($98, Urban Outfitters)

I like me a nice one-piece. This one's flirty-cute, and it's got a lot of coverage, which isn't necessarily bad; modesty's not just for Mormons, you know! Oh yeah, also: Urban Outfitters promo code: 10% off your online order: PICKAWINNER, expires May 10, 2008.

($88, Coco Reef, Dillards)

Classic and class-y! This chick looks like Eva Longoria and J.Lo at the same time.

($100, DKNY, Dillards)

This one comes with the sash -- but not with the resistance ball. So if you want to wear your bathing suit outside on the way to the gym, you need to get BYORB. Anyway, the understated stripes are gorgeously offset by the fun-in-the-sun orange, (tee! Women's magazine writing!) LAYYYYDEEEEZE! I really do love this though. It's like the embodiment of Roy Lichtenstein's "Girl With Ball."


Night, lovelies! I'm off to catch some zois.

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Already, I Am Sick of Gladiator Sandals...

And it's barely even Spring!!! Seriously, unless you're actively involved in battling bears or guys who look like Russell Crowe, you do NOT need to encase you foot in a leather cage. Please. DON'T!

Some particularly egregious offenders:

($98, Jeffrey Campbell, Urban Outfitters)

If you're concerned that your cankle areas (for lack of a better term) are going to be chilly, MAYBE IT'S TOO COLD OUT FOR SANDALS! But you really truly do not get to do both.

($28, Urban Outfitters)

Dudes, fringe is not for shoes. Fringe is for jackets... no wait a second. Fringe is NOT FOR ANYONE outside of Branson (and I'm sure several of Branson's fine citizens don't even wear it). Don't ever wear fringe EVER. (One exception: you are Dolly Parton and/or 1967 Dennis Hopper.)

($57, Naughty Monkey, Karmaloop.com)
Seriously? What the shit??

($79, Nine West)

We get it. The American economy is in the shitter, so we're supposed to buy bright things to make us forget. I love bright things, but that's no reason to let the sandal equivalent of Bill Cosby's Coogi sweater creep up your foot.

($125, Urban Outfitters)

As if someone sent a perfectly okay jazz shoe through a paper shredder.

You get the point. So now, some lovely warm-weather footwear alternatives to the scourge of gladiators:

($48, Urban Oufitters)

Not my all-time favorites, but definitely not bad at all. At least there's no covered heel or ankle nonsense.

($105, Dolce Vita, Piperlime.com)

Perfectly reasonable, sweetly (note: not barfily) trendy metallic peep-toe that says "I'm a grown-up, and I'm perfectly mature about keeping MOST of my foot consistently -- not schizophrenically covered."

($105, Sam Edelman, Bloomingdale's)

Love both of these. (Very similar, cheaper ones here, BTW.) Wedge-y but not towering, which is more than I can say for these:

($29.50, Alloy.com)

Holy hell. Anyway, back to better spring shoes:

($175, Cole Haan, Bloomingdale's)

Rarely do I see white shoes I'd actually wear, but these are great (both versions!) all-purpose sping/ summer heeled sandals that completely do not suck or offend.

($365, Chie Mahara, Sodafine.com)

Sweet, sweet design. Sweet, sweet desire. It's like the Golden Gate Bridge found a happy home on your foot (minus the congestion and the jumpers.)

($375, Ralph Lauren, Bloomingdale's)

The price is a bit ridick for a bit of rope, and sure, they're a bit campy, but they're still fun in a WASPy sort of way. (And Ha'shem KNOWS I'm WASPY!) Though I'm not sure why you wouldn't just opt for Kinos -- Key West classics -- instead:

($11, KinoSandalFactory.com)

($11, KinoSandalFactory.com)


($41, Steve Madden)

It's not much, but it's right to the point and WORLDS better than the much-aligned flip-flop. HELP US HELP YOU!

Also, Steve Madden promo code:
$10 off: SML963BF1E (Not sure if this is a one-hitter or what.)

Finally, if sandals aren't your thing (and I get that), I like these ridiculous (and ridiculously priced!) Nikes:

($79, Nike, Alloy)

Do I offend???

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Brown Baggin' It

Lots of cute neutral earth toned bags -- totes, satchels, "saddlebags," if you will -- for el espring! And they're all under $200 ('cept for one).

($39, Lulu's)

There's a lot going on here, texture-wise, but it's all subtle, so it's all good. And peep the similar one in khaki (though it looks brown to me.)

($45, Lulu's)

Spacious, plus, polka dot lining! Tee!

($52, ShopSueyboutique.com)

A direct rip-off descendant of that Marc Jacobs bag. Fair enough.

($198, Hayden-Harnett, Winknyc.com)

A very smart-looking bag. Like, you could be carrying the OED, the DSM or US Weekly inside, and you'd look just as sophisticated regardless. OH! And an update on my second Hayden-Harnett experience: Seamless. (Har.) Delivered straight to my desk. No hassles. Mama go a brand-new bag!

($139, Seonie Parc, ModCloth.com)

I adore this belted bag. It's like what I would've worn to a late '70s/ early '80s British disco on Rodeo Night. Or something. Check out designer Seonie Parc's site for more colors. Also: Modcloth.com promo code: 20% off through this Friday (3/28), code "nerd."

($58, Old Navy)

A real leather shoulder bag from Old Navy? For $58? Seriously? They really are stepping that game up.

($151, Billy Bag, Asos.com)

The anti-Spring bag Spring bag.

($245, Kooba, Barneys)

Kooba's answer to green-chic: the limited-edition 100% organic cotton bag with recycled cork trim. Not cheap, but not pachouli-looking either. Available at Barney's.

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Promo Code: 20% Active Endeavors

Get 20% off everything at ActiveEndeavors.com
Promo Code: SPRING20
Expires: March 23rd, so git on it.

And girl, you KNOW I just bought those 80%20 blue loafers I blogged about earlier this week:

Originally $48, but they came to $38 with the discount.

Oh, AND ActiveEndeavors does free UPS shipping! YAY!

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Salestravaganza: Promo Codes, Sales Y Mas

Sorry for the uninspired post -- I'm as busy on the workfront as Britney Spears is wack.

But, I'm passing on the savings to you with the following sales and promo codes:

Promo codes:
+ ASOS.com: 20% off
Use Code: EASTERSHOP.
Expires: March 24th

Buy something awesome, like this bikini:

($162.53, J4Gb, Asos.com)

+ Cutesygirl.com: 15% off
Use Code: SAVE15
Expires March 22

Buy something light and comfy for summer, like this mini dress:

($23.99, Mercy Me, Cutesygirl.com)

But definitely not this:

($19, Intimation, Cutesygirl.com)

+ Threadless.com: Tees on sale, from $9
No promo code, just a maje sale. Get something cute, like this very spring-y "Citrust-Me" Tee:

($15, Thomas DeSantis, Threadless.com)

Or, this fun giraffe (giraffes!!) Tee:

($9, Dan Rule, Threadless.com)

Both Tees available in dudes and Bettys versions.

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