Mom Jeans! Cheap!

($9.99, Gap)

Just in time for spring: the original Bad Idea Jeans.

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Tripping On Acid (-Washed Jeans)

Y'all, true-confessions time: I don't do any illegal drugs. Nothing. Not even the wizard. Nothing against it, really. I'm not like str8 edge or anything. I just don't enjoy it. And I hate the smell of "drugs." I really do. As a teenager, I worked too hard on accepting my nose to put up anything up it or risk ruining it at this point. And I'd rather spend money on designer finishing powder than the other kinda designer powder. Plus, growing up, I was "that kid" who totally believed that after, like, merely GLANCING at trace residue of any narcotic, I'd pull a Helen Hunt like in the infamous made-for-TV-movie Desperate Lives, where she flies out a third-story window, Superman styley, after like a milligram of PCP. And now I'm pretty much "that adult." And my drug of choice is carbs.

Anyway, to my knowledge, I have never ingested acid or any other hallucinogenic drug (except for Sparks). But right now I question whether or not I am currently tripping my face off, because I just bought a pair of acid-washed jeans:

($68, Lux, Urban Oufitters)

I am not positive what I will wear with them, but I will make it my mission to wear them thoughtfully and tastefully, with honor and integrity, to cherish and respect them all my days (can you tell I've been to two weddings so far this month?) Seriously, the intent is here is not to dress up like a one-woman '80s parade, but to perhaps wear them in lieu of skinny black jeans, with a nice solid, neutral-colored Tee, perhaps. Or with a wine-colored Tee. With some nude heels. See? A nice mix of the greatest hits of yesterday and today!

I'm sure some of you out there are recoiling in horror, but fuck that. They're gonna rule. We'll see. You'll see! Whatever, HATERS! (God. This must be how Kanye feels!... Funny side note: my dad calls him "Conway.")

More acid-washed jeans:

($69, Furst Premium Denim, LF Stores)

Earlier this month, in my obsessive cigarette jeans post, I blogged about how these acid-washed Furst Premium Denim 1820s at LF were trying to holla at me, but at $174, I was not about to hollar back. Well, thanks to the magic of SMS, I received a a text from MK on Saturday informing me that LF is having their one-and-only sale of the year (seriously, how do you just have ONE sale??), and everything in the joint is 60% off.

MK does not lie. Anyway, I tried them on in a size 29, which must be more like a size 4/6, (I'm about an 8/10) because it was Sausage City. So, no go, bro. A chick who works there told me that the 1820s are Furst's slimmest/ skinniest cut, and she also weren't telling a lie. I think the 30s would've even been too tight. So, that's when I harnessed the power of the Innernets and found those Urban acid-washed. Done! But yeah, if you're an 8 or under, check out those deals on Fursts at LF. They're almost all sold out at the Court Street locay, but it looks like they're in stock online.

($77, Sass & Bide, Bluefly)

These are a Lucky Shops exclusive. I'm not sure what that has to do with Bluefly, but I'm pretty sure I tried on a pair of Sass & Bide jeans at the Lucky Shops event, and they ruled. I sorta really want these. They're a nice mix of acid-wash and grey, without too much of the former. And a great price for Sass & Bide.

($265, Casette, MadisonLosAngeles.com)
These are fairly hot but also fairly 'speners.


($330, Grey Ant, Tobi.com)

Brown acid = the sophisticated PhD. to your master's-level black acid-wash.


Also, back on the LF sale tip, I swooped down on those Jeffrey Campbell ombre heels:
Were: $120.
Got 'em for: $48. I don't think they're online (boo), but there were a few pairs at the court Street LF.

While I was there, I also picked up:

($15.20, Adia Kibur, LFStores.com)

I'd been <3-ing these for a while in black. Then they went on sale and I opted for the bottom bronzey brown ones instead.

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Ask A Binger! Do Ballet Flats Go With Skinny Jeans?

In our recent Cigarette/ Skinny Jeans post, Laura S. of the adorable DachsiesandDaisies -- who finds heart-wrenchingly cute stuff like marshmallows with heart cut-outs (!!!!) -- asked if ballet flats are appropes footwear for skinny jeans.

In a word: Absolutely, sistrah!

Observe:

(Credit: Instyle.com)

Rachel Bilson always looks so super comfy-casual-cute.

(Credit: ImNotObsessed.com)

Such a pretty princess! Even if she is dating the human equivalent of a two-by-four. (Hayden = zzzzzz).

(Credit: Glam.com)

Chloe Sevigny may be one of the only people on earth who can pull off white jeans. (J.Lo does NOT count). God bless, I say.

(Credit: Glam.com)

Casual Kate Bosworth in skinnies and flats -- love the all black.

(Credit: Instyle.com)

Granted, all jeans are skinny jeans on Kate Moss (here in her Doherty days), but here's another example of the classiness of black flats/ black pants. Perfect way to not look like a crazy person in animal prints.

(Photo: Couturecandy.com)

Perfect ensemble for when you're about to take naked pix of your underaged self! On the reals though: I'm basically indifferent toward Vanessa Hudgens, but these flats are cute.

Anyway, especially in the warmer months, ballet flats are the perfect outfit upgrade from flip-flops (which I absolutely abhor), and sandals, which I've never been too fond of. Flip-flops: hangar steak and Cristalino. Ballet flats: Kobe and Veuve. Got it?

PS: DC blogger HeyPretty's post about skinny jeans and boots has little to do with either, but it's a funny read in a self-deprecating-but-not-too-severely way.

PPS: Also, read HeyPretty's post about how fucking shitty Cashmere Mafia and Lipstick Jungle are and how there's a dearth of TV shows that realistically portray working women in their '20s and '30s. Which is why I primarily watch Intervention and Tell Me You Love Me. And Millionaire Matchmaker.

PPPS: I am not actually, nor am I in any way, shape or form associated with HeyPretty. I just discovered her blog today and like it. KThXbYe!!

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Cravin' Smokin' Cigarettes (Jeans, That Is!)

I have so many heels that I end up not wearing enough because I need more cigarette jeans -- the ones with the perfect amount of ankle slouchiness. Otherwise, wide-legged jeans (even bootcuts) with heels always feel awkward on me. Like I'm trying to pull off a lady-sailor look or something. Plus, what's the point of even wearing heels instead of flats if your pants are going to conceal them? So, without further adieu, tons of cigarette jeans -- some '80s-inspired -- at a host of price points...

($174, Deener, Couturecandy.com)

I really love the slightly Western detail of the stitching and on the pockets.

($174, Furst Premium Denim, LF Stores)

Okay, please don't kill me. But I actually sorta love these totally '80s acid-washed jeans. Have I been brainwashed? Regardless of whether or not you now loathe me, you must admit: Furst does some on-point skinny jeans. And perhaps you'll find these less of an affront on your anti-retro tastes.

($159, Joe's Jeans, PinkMascara.com)

Perfect ankle-to-heel ratio!

($139, Earnest Sewn, RevolveClothing.com)

For those of you not tubular enough to rock the Fursts.

($111, J Brand, RevolveClothing.com)

Perhaps you recall past posts where I slammed colored jeans. Well, I am a big fucking hypocrite. While I don't own any jeans that aren't a shade of blue, black or grey, I've come around and am warming to the idea of denims in shades other than those usually reserved for pens. I have discovered that I'm really not into bold, primary colors, but I am into the more muted, dusty shades that don't aren't a blinding assault on the eyes but instead a nice subtle alternative to blues and greys. (Again, yes, I'm a total hypocrite). Case in point: these great J Brand jeans in "gingerbread." Hee! Gingerbread!

($72, J Brand, RevolveClothing.com)

These J Brand jeans in "Brick" might have to be my next purchase.

($58, Paper Denim, Labelspree.com)

Not my 100% faves, but a great deal. BTW, has anyone shopped Labelspree? Legit or not?

($49, Rock N Roll, Lip-service.com)

According to the site, Lip-service.com deals in punk and goth gear and festishwear and is a destination for fashion freaks. I fall under none of those categories (except maybe "fashion freak," though probably not in the way they're referencing). I have a grand total of three piercings -- all in my ears -- and the only ink on my body is the occasional errant pen mark. But, I'd definitely try these out for $49. Check out the lavender ones too.

($38, Rock N Roll, Lip-service.com)

Cute! And stretchy! Will buy! (Minus the wallet chain, of course).

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SKINNY JEANS ARE NOT DEAD... But We're Making Room ...

I truly believe that skinny jeans are here to stay. As MK and I discussed the other night, they're merely a TYPE of jean, not a trend. And the right pair (case in point, the grey Zara jeans I've been wearing for about three years now, 98% because I love them and 2% because of their Xtreme Vanity Sizing -- they're like 8 sizes smaller than I actually am. Win/win!) can truly slim you down if they're not obscenely tight -- though, I will admit, despite the fact that I am short and curvy, my legs -- while far from toothpicks -- are pretty proportional, and I don't have a ton of thigh-age, so that does help with being able to pull them off. And either I'm rolling, completely delusional or a combo of both, but I'm convinced they don't make me look shorter than my 5 feet + 2 inches. Your mileage, of course, may vary.

So, as much as I love skinny jeans, let's diversify, people. A girl does need SOME non-constricting jeans in her Ikea wardrobe. (Erps, that'd be me. Stoopid no-closets Brooklyn brownstones!)

Anyway, I'm more than willing to make room in my wardrobe and heart for some wider-legged jeans, though I draw the line at Kate Moss '70-style jeans so wide that if you sewed up the legs and cut them apart down the middle, there'd still be so much fabric that I'd look like a denim-clad Hassidic mermaid.

Sophisticated trouser-style jeans in a nice dark shade is where it's at.

Which is why I love these Flying Monkey jeans:

($51, Flying Monkey, Lulus)

These are a great winter-spring transitional jean, they look great with a wider heel, and hello, they're like $50 bucks!

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