Not That I Really Want To Think About Swimwear At This Point, But...

I mean, blah blah blah love your body and get breast exams and shit, but honestly, at this point in the season, I'd probably rather get a couple consecutive Paps than go bathing suit shopping. But that doesn't keep me from Windows shopping (GET IT????). Lame, I know. Onto the suits...

I just found out about swim line Red Carter. I likes what I sees!

(Red Carter, Tropi-Ties.com)

Looks like this one, the "Nouvelle," isn't available until later this month. Worth waiting for, I opine!

(Red Carter, Tropi-Ties.com)

This one -- the "Straight Arrow," is also TK, as we say in "the biz"... the biz of saying things. Can you handle the arrow pointing toward and away from your "choche"? (It rhymes with "encroach," in case you were wondering, and Daddy Likey inspired that one. It kind of almost reminds me of the Most Amazing Bikini Ever Created -- Kara Janx's fear-ocious tigerkini, which is on super-duper sale (in size L) here:

($60, Kara Janx, Azaeleasnyc.com)Good kitty. Down, girl!

($92, Carter Red, Bluefly.com)

Subtle but not boring! By the way, Bluefly just launched a new something-or-other called B*fly -- looks basically just like a site-within-a-site, designed to help you wade through the grammaw stuff and find the cute stuff faster. Okay then.

($115, Shoshanna, Nordstrom)

($66, Shoshanna, Nordstrom)

Shoshanna deserves mad big-boob props -- she designs for a wonderfully realistic range of weird cup-age, fruit-inspired body shapes and other various real-woman issues of disproportion. While the top of this suit does go all the way up to 36DDD, I really couldn't it being right for a busty broad. Nevertheless, this is an adorable pick (love the sunny mid-century diamonds!), and, as previously stated, Shoshanna is great for stylish, smart, supportive suits in an impressive range of sizes. I have two bikinis by her that I love. Get some.

(Top: $38, Bottom: $38, Billabong, Urban Outfitters)

Cute. A mass-market version of that ubi-quit-ous Elie Saab floral dress?

(Elie Saab, RTW 2008)

(Top: $9.99; Bottom: $9.99, Old Navy)
Easy, cute.

($98, Urban Outfitters)

I like me a nice one-piece. This one's flirty-cute, and it's got a lot of coverage, which isn't necessarily bad; modesty's not just for Mormons, you know! Oh yeah, also: Urban Outfitters promo code: 10% off your online order: PICKAWINNER, expires May 10, 2008.

($88, Coco Reef, Dillards)

Classic and class-y! This chick looks like Eva Longoria and J.Lo at the same time.

($100, DKNY, Dillards)

This one comes with the sash -- but not with the resistance ball. So if you want to wear your bathing suit outside on the way to the gym, you need to get BYORB. Anyway, the understated stripes are gorgeously offset by the fun-in-the-sun orange, (tee! Women's magazine writing!) LAYYYYDEEEEZE! I really do love this though. It's like the embodiment of Roy Lichtenstein's "Girl With Ball."


Night, lovelies! I'm off to catch some zois.

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Brown Baggin' It

Lots of cute neutral earth toned bags -- totes, satchels, "saddlebags," if you will -- for el espring! And they're all under $200 ('cept for one).

($39, Lulu's)

There's a lot going on here, texture-wise, but it's all subtle, so it's all good. And peep the similar one in khaki (though it looks brown to me.)

($45, Lulu's)

Spacious, plus, polka dot lining! Tee!

($52, ShopSueyboutique.com)

A direct rip-off descendant of that Marc Jacobs bag. Fair enough.

($198, Hayden-Harnett, Winknyc.com)

A very smart-looking bag. Like, you could be carrying the OED, the DSM or US Weekly inside, and you'd look just as sophisticated regardless. OH! And an update on my second Hayden-Harnett experience: Seamless. (Har.) Delivered straight to my desk. No hassles. Mama go a brand-new bag!

($139, Seonie Parc, ModCloth.com)

I adore this belted bag. It's like what I would've worn to a late '70s/ early '80s British disco on Rodeo Night. Or something. Check out designer Seonie Parc's site for more colors. Also: Modcloth.com promo code: 20% off through this Friday (3/28), code "nerd."

($58, Old Navy)

A real leather shoulder bag from Old Navy? For $58? Seriously? They really are stepping that game up.

($151, Billy Bag, Asos.com)

The anti-Spring bag Spring bag.

($245, Kooba, Barneys)

Kooba's answer to green-chic: the limited-edition 100% organic cotton bag with recycled cork trim. Not cheap, but not pachouli-looking either. Available at Barney's.

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A Few Fun, Affordable Spring Picks

For a minute there, I was like, maybe that post title could be a palindrome. Then I was like... fuck it. It's late. So here are the cute and affordable items, in descending order of cost:

(Apprx $132 USD, Topshop.com)

From the new Kate Moss Topshop collection. Now, honestly, I wasn't blown away by her initial offering. But I love this. I'd love it even more if it didn't have the little ruffle at the waist, but we know ruffles are quite in. Even if they're definitely not universally flattering. Still, I love the embroidered detail and the simple colors.

($48, 80%20, ActiveEndeavors.com)

I wouldn't wear all of 80%20 designer Ce Ce Chin's shoes, but I love the ideas and inspiration behind them. And I am totes enamored of these robin's egg blue punk loafers -- also available in "grape" (hee!) and green.

($39.50, Delias)

Boy shorts aren't always the MOST flattering, but I love the classic tie-neck '40s/'50s look here.

($29.50, Old Navy)

Two cute new suits from Old Navy. They both hit stores April 1. The golden metallic one is a BIT American Apparel (in the bad way), except that it isn't cut below one's crotch. It also HAS a crotch, so that's good. Anyway, metallic definitely has its place on the beach (though it may be its only place I think it's okay in non-accessories form), so I endorse this suit, but the brown one is even better.

($10, Malina, ManicTrout.com)

Never mind that the site's name sounds like a tedious jam band (which is redundant.) These vintage lucite earrings are really sweet, and they're actually tiny -- just a quarter-inch. Tee!

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Old Navy's Safari Style

Dear Todd Oldham,

I know we don't know each other personally, but I used to like watching you on House of Style back in the day on MTV. I'm sorry that neither your clothing line nor, let's be honest, that Bravo show you hosted worked out. But I'm over the moon over the news that as of October 2007, you've been named the new creative director of struggling Old Navy.

Old Navy's always been there for me, but only sorta in that last resort sorta way. In much the same way that you'll eat the last, sorta crappiest looking thing in your pantry -- the thing you wouldn't touch but only turn to out of starving desperation -- Old Navy is usually last on the list.

But I have hopes that much as you were able to resurrect shitty old college couches by recovering them with animal prints, you'll be able to breathe life back into Old Navy, which, it seems, is now "The O.N."

And, seeing as how I have a weird giraffe-print fetish, I'm hugely enamored of your new urban explorer line of safari-inspired stuff:

So much cute animal-print stuff, and so easy to shop for! And I truly love the citrusy yellows and greens. Lovely change from Old Navy's usual crop of primaries and pastels.

More stuff I'd readily buy:

($29.50, Old Navy)

While there's been much ado about this dress, I'm a much bigger fan of this one. Nice way to do florals and safari without doing too much of either.

($19.50, Old Navy)

Speaking of ado, there's been plenty of it over the giraffe-print clutch, but I'm also fond of the squiggly olive-print clutch too.

($15, Old Navy)

Sweet, simple little keyhole top -- a classier alternative to a tank or Tee.

($19.50, Old Navy)

I do believe I need both of these animal-print and animal-print-inspired (because I'm not sure what animal is red and grey, but I'd sure like to meet him!) flats. (MKHo blogged about the lemony ones not too long ago. Psychic style sisters!)

($4, Old Navy)

We all need undies! I have a pair of similar hipster unders, and they fit perfectly and have held up after many a'wash. (Because I'm hygienic like that!) And these are waaaay cheaper than the awesome yet expensive Cosabella bottoms I blogged about befo'.

Okay, well, Todd, I realize that this has become more of a personal shopping list than a letter. I'm off the ballet (yay!), so I'll end this now with this old-school House of Style clip.

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